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in which i talk much more than usual

December 2, 2010
i’m driving carefully down an icy, quiet street listening to cbc radio and an iron and wine song comes on and the snow is falling a little bit right in time with the soft guitar and suddenly i’m inside a snowglobe that some great invisible hand has just turned upside down.
i was just at the starbucks and now i’m all full of a peppermint mocha and a sweet conversation, and i’m bundled snugly up in my scarf and the mittens barclay gave me for Christmas last year so next to none of my skin is showing and i feel like i could go and roll and roll and roll in the snow and not get cold. 
i am invincible.

i look out my driver’s side window just in time to see a perfect snowflake land right at eye-level on the glass, and i marvel at how far it’s fallen while staying so precisely intact, and that’s maybe when it happens, without me fully noticing at first. 

i’m rounding the corner onto my street and the sun is getting ready for night, throwing its rays onto the pillowy clouds and blankets of snow and i keep having to pull over so i can enjoy it without killing somebody. 
people are staring at me standing beside my car with my cell phone taking pictures, so i start pretending i’ve broke down and am calling for help. 
no one stops to help me. 
i start to get ticked at society, and all the self-centered, uncaring — but quickly remind myself that if someone does stop, i’m going to feel like an idiot.
then, who cares. 
then, i get stuck in a snow bank.
then, i’m free.
i get that feeling like i usually do in june when the puddles are drying and the weather is warming up–the very same feeling.
and just like that i realize that it happened! i did it! it worked! 
i talked myself into loving something that i hate[d]. 
listen to this:
i love winter. legitimately. sincerely. 
it took about a month. 
and it got me thinking about all the things i hate. 
when i first decided to love winter, i had to make a choice every five seconds to think about something good about winter instead of complaining about it–out loud to other people, and in my own head. i was constantly looking for something good to say about it. making lists in my car on my way to work of things i liked about it. the list had – 45 things on it for the first week. 
{i live in canada, it gets COLD here, cut me some slack.} 
but the point is not that.
the point is not even that i love winter.
the point is that i just realized that this month i’ve inadvertently trained my brain in a way of thinking that could be applied to any number of things, people, places, weather patterns, activities, music, et-cetera, and basically result in me being contented and cheerful all the time, as well as easy to please and be around.
it seems like something i should’ve gotten cased by now, something we all should’ve. but i think we as humans are whiny by nature and really actually quite love hating things. 
don’t get me wrong, some things deserve hating. like country-pop music and onions. but some things, like winter, are really worth falling in love with. we’d just rather grumble and notice the inconveniences and discomforts instead of the fun and the beauty.
me, i’m going to think of something else i hate now, and start the whole thing over.
19 Comments leave one →
  1. December 6, 2010 2:47 am

    kayla: you are so dang funny. 🙂 thank you.

    carrie: it's very worth it –have fun!

    amber rose: YOU are great. 🙂 i think i might allow myself one or two scrooge days. just in the middle of february. but that's absolutely it.

    nova: for real. do it.

    laura: thanks lady!

    connally: aw shucks! thank you very much.

    justine: ONIONS. now that would be a challenge. oi. i needed to start with something easier. i'll build up to onions.

    sarah ann: isn't it crazy? and what a huge responsibility.

    lorraine: hahaha, good luck with the cauliflower! (i like it with cheese whiz melted on top.)

    steven cain: hahahahaha well that's RUDE! 😀

    jillian: i'll send some snow your way. we have plenty. 🙂

    amber: 😀 thanks dear.

    kiersten: mm…as much as i do [really] love winter…i'd still love to go to hawaii in february.

    stefany: well thanks! 🙂

    jen glen: it's true! hmm….we need to think of something for you to experiment with you. and i'll ask you every sunday if it's working yet.

    ashlee: hahaa thanks. 😀

    mich: positive energy. inDEED.

    jen wilson: i loved your post today. your daughters are genii.

  2. December 5, 2010 9:21 pm

    You. Are. A. Genius.

    That is all.

  3. December 2, 2010 10:45 pm

    What an amazing post!! Such beautiful pictures too x

  4. December 2, 2010 10:03 pm

    I remember the first time I heard that we can control our thoughts. It was from a prof at Bible School, and I was like, “What?! Yeah right! They just pop into your head!” How little I knew. The revelation seriously blew my socks off. I'm not sure I've ever accomplished liking something I used to hate though. It reminds me of Craig. He used to force himself to continually eat the things he didn't like until he finally liked them! I think that's crazy, but hey, it worked! As did your experiment!

  5. December 2, 2010 9:56 pm

    I love every word of this. And totally agree with you about country pop music. Bleck.

  6. Mich permalink
    December 2, 2010 9:44 pm

    It's funny that the idea of loving things is so novel. But it's true. It's so much better to love things! It might take energy but it's positive energy at least!

    ps – above comment by steven cain = hilarious

  7. December 2, 2010 8:53 pm

    Probably one my favorite posts you've ever made. Beautifully written and so very thought provoking. Not to mention, your photos are absolutely lovely and make me want to visit Canada. You see, I live in Florida and sometimes I HATE Summer- it gets hotter than hell here during the July and August months so I always look forward to winter (given our winters are probably more like your Spring). In any case, I will adopt this mindset when the month of July rolls around and I'm sweating to death down here in the sunshine state. Thank you for sharing this. Beautiful!

  8. December 2, 2010 8:51 pm

    Well, my dear. Congratulations. Proud of you, trying to follow in your footsteps. Even though it's hard and I sometimes try to scheme ways of getting Jordan to take me to Hawaii for a week or so.

    And your pictures are beautiful.

    See you Friday!

  9. December 2, 2010 3:01 pm

    I know. I had to come up with forty-two whole reasons why I love people who don't use capitol letters.

  10. December 2, 2010 2:33 pm

    this is precious, as are you–and I wish it would snow for real here already! (it just keeps teasing with snow that will not stick) As snow does make the cold SO worth it. 🙂

  11. December 2, 2010 10:08 am

    This is wonderful 🙂

  12. December 2, 2010 5:21 am

    i think this post just changed my life. seriously, you just rocked my socks off in the best way possible.

    kudos for positivity♥ your blog makes me happy on so many levels.

  13. December 2, 2010 5:13 am

    love this. The first part especially read like poetry. Also, I trained myself to like onions. Well… sometimes.

  14. December 2, 2010 4:56 am

    1. I'm so glad you love winter. I think it's insanely refreshing and beautiful, and while I don't have to deal with Canada cold, something about the season just seems spicy and like a clean slate all at the same time.

    2. More importantly, I'm currently reading Richard Rohr “Everything Belongs” with my Bible study. This is one of his main points: We can control every ounce of what enters and leaves our minds. This is hard for me to fathom because I have such a wandering, imaginative brain; but just as you have trained yourself to love winter (and congrats on that positive discipline!), Rohr talks about using those same types of practices to whip our minds into shape. It's an amazing, mind-blowing concept, and I have LOVED seeing you put it into practice over the past few weeks. It's truly inspirational.

  15. December 2, 2010 4:51 am

    What a great post! I needed to hear this–feeling bitter about calgary in winter. This cured me. Will now apply myself to loving cauliflower.

  16. December 2, 2010 3:17 am

    I think I have to try to love winter. It doesn't happen very often here but when it does it's nasty.

    Loving it would really change the entire perspective.

  17. December 2, 2010 2:14 am

    I love this post. I'm a huge winter fan— for the first week or so. Then the cold winds start to chill my old bones and I Scrooge around.

    And it kills me that people don't stop. Kills. Me.

    These photos are great. You are great. ❤

  18. December 2, 2010 2:02 am

    this speaks to my heart.

    i'd ttype more, but i'm holding pizza.

  19. December 2, 2010 1:50 am

    What a lovely post. And you have challenged me to find something I “hate” and somehow turn it around and fall in love with it. Thank you.

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