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little boys

May 20, 2011

i was colouring with some little boys a few weeks back and they were yell-talking about poop, hockey, and video games. they were colouring their whole pages black without even glancing down, and pushing each other off their chairs.

for your average 7 year-old boy, colouring is a loud, obnoxious, contact sport.

but there was one kid sitting quietly, his nose right up against his paper, colouring so carefully and so painstakingly, stopping every few minutes to rifle through the pencil crayons for another colour.

he was about half done when he selected a red crayon and shaded in an apple, and i saw a little smile creep over his face and he whispered, really, really softly and only to himself, “this is going to be a masterpiece.


to which the boys replied with a resounding, “COOL!!!!!”

and then somebody farted and everyone laughed.

little boys are fantastic human beings.


flying is easy

May 19, 2011


May 18, 2011

yesterday, the fantastic nova of four-eyes rella posted an interview with my very own self on her blog. it’s exceedingly flattering and has all sorts of information about little ol’ me. though i felt kind of sorry for her because i sent her my answers in my usual flippant writing style {zero capitalization} and noticed that she painstakingly went through and capitalized everything that needed to be capitalized. that is impressive, i think. hurrah, nova!

you can read the whole thing HEREand say hello to nova while you’re at it. she would like that, i think.

{unrelated} here’s a new word i learned today while reading the dictionary:

r.i.p graham

May 16, 2011

i’ve been hanging out with my sisters-in-law this week. i have three. they’re a little like movie stars because they’re gorgeous and confident, but a little unlike movie stars because they’re not movie stars.

today, one of them told me about a funeral they once threw for a bird named graham, who flew into a clean window {presumably}¬†on accident one day and quickly died due to internal and external injuries. there was a silence in the room, followed by the question, “why would we ever choose to name a bird graham?”

but i think graham is a very good name for a bird.

psychoanalysis season

May 15, 2011

it’s wedding season, again. it comes every may–

which is great, because i happen to be one of those people who love wedding season, because i happen to be one of those people who love weddings.

crazy, i know.

i like them for a lot of reasons.

i like them because i like marriage and when i see a couple entering into it with clarity and sincere love, i know it’s a very good thing.

i like them because they remind me of my wedding, which is always fun to be reminded of.

i like them because of all the girly reasons to like a wedding {dress, decorations, cake, rings, etcetera}.

but i’ll admit that i also like them simply because they’re an opportunity to psychoanalyze the bride. is that creepy?

it’s just that weddings are hugely telling of what kind of person you are and what kinds of things you value. from the decorations to the dress to the wedding party to the involvement of family members to the elements of the ceremony to the music to the people you invite to where you have the wedding to the speeches to the little extras or lack thereof and on and on–i always leave feeling like i could maybe write an essay on the bride.

my theory is that whatever kind of person you are already, you will be more “that” during the wedding planning process. and it’s all on display for me to examine, which is fantastic because one of my favourite things is observing the way that people are.

people are fascinating.

fitz and the dizzyspells

May 12, 2011

it’s thursday, right?

man, who even knows anymore.

if it wasn’t for my dayplanner, i would be a floundering mess of a lady, probably laying on the ground somewhere wondering where and when i was and if i had somewhere i needed to be. people would walk past and drop change on my belly, whispering to each other about my unwashed hair and mismatched socks.

even as it is, last week i washed my hair once and then just plum forgot about it. for a week. i’m gross. i’m gross.

but the days, they are faster than cheetahs.

tomorrow, i might wake up and turn 80.

or even 87.

melodramatics and plug-ins

May 10, 2011

i’m going to go for a melodramatic walk in the rain today, and it’s going to be fantastic.

i always feel like i’m in a movie when i walk in the rain, at the part where they’ve just had a fight and they’re each walking separate streets past couples holding hands and windows of coffee shops they used to frequent together and that place they had their first kiss–and colors, by amos lee, is playing.

that’s just the way i feel. i can’t help the way i feel.

there’s something completely great about feeling a little bit rainy-day sad; the kind of sad that lifts the second you want it to and is only there for dramatic effect.

not my girl sad, which sinks deep into your bones and makes you weepy for a whole week.

{honestly, the first time i watched that movie i went to a party afterward and couldn’t stop crying. concerned people came up to me and asked what was wrong and all i could tell them that macaulay culkin had just broken my heart.}

to cap the post off, i’d like to leave you with a sad youtube video about plug-ins, which was filmed in new york by nathan fielder, and which i’ve posted before but am much too happy with not to post again.